I always new that I wanted to be a mother I just never knew how hard the job was and above that, that I would feel like I couldn't do it. The pregnancy wasn't that bad. Minus the back pain, leg cramps and not being able to wear ANY pants, I did okay. The labor, piece of cake minus the already 48 hours lack of sleep I had going into the hospital. What started the "I can't believe no one told me about this" was the breastfeeding, and EXTREME fatigue. Then Zackary's fussiness kicked in. Now for all of you that know me I am not quiet, I don't hold back what I am feeling, I have always been pretty independent, and I don't like to complain but I became/have become a complainer, I have become dependent, and I have become quiet (and I don't like it). And more power to all mom's who can do it all without complaining!
Support...I mean what a novel idea. To some that ask for it they feel small and are portrayed as weak, to others they are given so much support that they might not see the other side of it. I know many mothers don't need support or have anyone (can think of many friends), but I am a social person and I am realizing that the support and communication is essential for me! We are all built so differently and I have always had a strong support system just in general, but a mom support system is so different. I have already proven to myself that I don't need help and I know that I will return to my old self eventually but for now I am just focusing on one day at a time and becoming creative with what we do during the day. I told my friend recently that I have never wanted to be Mormon as bad as I want to now just for the support you get throughout raising your family!!!!!!!!!!
The latest "I can't believe no one told me about this", is how hard it is to start solids and figure out this 30 minute nap thing that Zackary has established!! Zackary is a breast worthy little man! He would rather have his milk any day over his carrots, zucchini, and squash, etc..and only sleep at night...the days are too exciting.
I know that it will all work out, it's just nice processing with other mom's what is going on. So at this point to all that have helped me along my mothering pathway...THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart-you all know who you are! And one more thing....
If it weren't for Ben...well let's just say he is an INCREDIBLE husband, father and friend.
This was such a heartfelt post. I loved it. There is proof in this post of what a great mother you are because you care so much about doing a good job! Zackary is lucky. Love you girl, and go to church :)
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with Michelle more! There are those that would pawn off their kids at the drop of a hat. That makes me sad! These are the years that we bond with them and build their trust. Time moves forward not backwards- we will never get these years back. You are doing a wonderful job Mom! Wish we lived closer!
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